• Nic

Cock-Cuddling: A Self-Care Practice

I recently took an online class from the eminent sexologist and founder of Body Electric, Joseph Kramer that rocked my world in many ways. It was focused essentially on the subject of sustained sexual arousal and was filled with terrific information, practices and techniques designed to help deepen our masturbation sessions. But the one practice that I carried away from the class that has changed my mindful erotic self-care is something that he called ‘cock cuddling’.

Cock cuddling is not masturbation. The intention of cock cuddling is not to orgasm or ejaculate. The intention of cock cuddling is to honor and caress your genitals with respect and love. There is no other goal or objective to it! It is simply spending quality time (say five to ten minutes) with the core generator of your sexual energy while consciously recognizing its power, potential and sacredness. It could certainly be used as a prelude to masturbation, but in my practice, I find it personally more meaningful to separate it from masturbation. I think of it as a different but equally necessary erotic practice for me that informs and enriches solo sex, as well as sex with another person. Cock cuddling is a celebration of my genitals. I like to see it as something different from using my genitals as a source of full-body sexual pleasure.

In Joseph’s class it was presented very simply as something to do…a habitual practice…after getting out of the shower every morning. Using body lotion (rather than lube or oil which might tell your body that you’re preparing for sex), generously apply it to your cock, balls, perineum, even your asshole! Just close your eyes, breathe deeply (preferably from your pelvis) and rub the lotion into the area: simply enjoy the healing qualities of the cream on some of the most delicate and sensitive places on your body. I like to massage my genitals until the effects of the lotion are almost gone, well up to ten minutes or longer. I love the healing pleasure of the lotion on my perineum and asshole especially, taking time to insert my finger ever so slightly into the first sphincter and no further. I’ll then spread it further up into the creases between the thighs and genitals, then into the balls themselves and onto the cock. Sometimes I get semi-erect, but I don’t take this as a signal that my body is wanting more; it’s going to probably happen, after all. But I ignore that impulse and just spend time loving and caressing my sacred genitals. More often than not, during this practice the rest of my body resonates with pleasure…mini-orgasms, if you will…that wake me up, bring me to erotic alertness and even act as a gateway to experiencing pleasure in a new way in the everyday activities that follow a session of cock-cuddling.

Give cock-cuddling a try by making it your own. It’s all about intention. And as always, don’t forget to breathe!