As I began exploring my own body during assignments and classes in the Somatic Sex Education certificate program I was more than mildly surprised when my mentors began talking about the male pelvic floor. Our discussions of the pelvic floor were usually related to studies in female anatomy (and here is one area in the health and medical field where women get more attention than men because of the importance of the female pelvic floor in issues related to childbirth). But it was always stressed that we men have a pelvic floor too (duh!), usually ignored, and that it has been left largely unexplored by the medical community. That shouldn’t be surprising. Western culture…even medical culture…has always been disdainful of that area of our bodies. Anything that close to the asshole can’t be the subject of serious study, right? Where would the funding come from? How would you write the proposal? I think you get the picture…
I began exploring my own pelvic floor amid all this study and discussion, bringing it ‘life’, giving it attention: and in the process, I discovered a new area of sexual bliss that added a lot to my experience of erotic pleasure. Wanting to explore it more fully I made an appointment with a male pelvic floor specialist just to see what he might add to my knowledge and experience of this newly discovered area of my body. Over the years, I’ve had plenty of experience offering partners the opportunity to explore my body, but I’d never walked into an office with the expressed intention of opening up my perineum and anus to detailed study, manipulation and massage!
After some discussion of the area with the gentle practitioner, looking at some anatomical drawings of the layers of muscle surrounding the anus and a description of the pelvic diaphragm (who knew?), I removed my clothes, got on the massage table and assumed the ‘table-top’ position, ass in the air. Using almond oil as lube, my anal ‘explorer’ began massaging parts of my bottom anatomy that I’d never really touched. No one had ever concentrated on these parts of my body before, touching them with the intention of informing me, of bringing attention to those muscles, of strengthening them, or of giving pleasure! After not too many minutes of prodding, poking and massaging I got an erection. It shouldn’t surprise us that the pelvic floor and the anal area specifically is rich with nerve endings, much like the head of the penis, and every bit as sensitive.
When the practitioner began massaging the muscles surrounding my asshole…making circles around it with his thumb, or gently stretching it from side to side and top to bottom…I breathed deeply into the work and found that I was on the verge of an erotic trance. I discovered much later in my studies that what this lovely man was performing was an ‘external anal massage’ and I’m now trained to offer it myself. He offered an ‘internal’ massage but I was so taken with what could be experienced externally I wanted him to concentrate there, on every part of my pelvic floor that is immediately accessible, that I don’t need a partner for. It was a deeply erotic encounter, this introduction to my own body, and it felt sacred. I didn’t cum…that wasn’t the point nor the objective of this exploration. After he finished he gave me some tips on keeping the muscles of the area flexible and healthy, and then we parted ways.
Ever since that revelatory visit I’ve incorporated pelvic floor play into my own mindful erotic practice. I encourage you to try it for yourself. Using plenty of lube, just allow yourself to explore the area. Try sliding the edge of your hand through your ass crack and allow your fingers to gently brush your anus as you finish. Try carefully stretching the rosebud (as we call the anus in our business…thank you, Joseph Kramer!), from side to side and top to bottom in order to encourage flexibility. Please the muscles by deeply massaging the area around it, circling the rosebud with your thumb (don’t be afraid to dig in…those muscles are strong!) Do a kind of pulsing ‘doorbell’ move on the rosebud itself. Wake it all up! Play! After you’ve experienced this pleasure, imagine how these simple moves could add immeasurably to your own erotic practice.