Fren-Play: My Morning Meditation
I love working with my Tarot deck to jump-start morning reflection after I’ve made my coffee (naked, of course) and settled myself in a chair around my dining room table. The chair is upholstered, with a straight back for firm support. I’ll sit with one leg underneath my torso so that my heel meets my perineum, giving it just a bit of pressure. The other leg is firmly planted on the floor to ground myself. In this position I’ll choose a card from the Tarot (Rider-Waite) and allow the image to speak to me. Today I randomly chose the Ace of Cups. It’s a stunning image, a Divine Hand holding a chalice above a large body of water, possibly a lake, and out of the chalice four streams of water pour down into the lake, a fountain effect. There are esoteric symbols surrounding the chalice: a dove (the Holy Spirit in Christian mythology), a cross, a letter that looks like an upside-down M, but these things aren’t as important to me as the presence of water. Water symbolism in the Tarot connotes feelings, emotions, fluidity, new life, initiation, cleansing…mostly feminine traits that invite openness and healing.
I decided to use the image of the Ace of Cups as the intention for my morning erotic practice. Sitting there, naked, my root perineum receiving gentle massage from my heel, I put a dab of coconut oil on a finger and began massaging my frenulum: that juicy, luscious and sensitive spot just underneath the head of my cock. When I activate my frenulum like this, I use gentle, slow and circular movements to ‘wake up the neighborhood’. There is no stroking or jerking, and I purposely touch only the frenulum. This creates a kind of super-focus on that part of my genitals that allows for deeper connection and for a meditative and eventually ecstatic state.
I noticed that the image in the card remained with me as the head of my cock engorged with blood and I brought my breath up from the root and into my heart. It was as if the image…in my imagination…was a metaphor that clearly showed my cock overflowing with energy and ecstatic emotions, those emotions spilling into that body of watery, Universal emotion below. The heart breathing became my singular focus as a way to generate ecstasy and a deep connection between my heart and my cock. I believe that there is a sacred pathway, a kind of corridor where our sexual desires communicate with our emotions, especially our grateful (grace filled) love of our own bodies and what they offer us through the generosity of Nature. Breathing into that corridor brings more joy and fulfillment into the self-pleasuring.
This fren play became more and more ecstatic! It elicited moans, shouts of delight and laughter. I began to notice all of the senses getting involved. The sense of sight intensified as I looked out over the greenery and buildings that I can see from my chair. My hearing became acute, listening to the silence of the morning, the occasional car or truck driving by the condo where I live, the sound of a neighbor in sneakers climbing the outside stairs from the gym. The oiled massage of my fingers fulfilled my sense of touch, and at times I extended it to my nipples. Taste was involved as well, as I would occasionally bring the flowing pre-cum to my mouth to get intimate with the taste of my own passion.
Occasionally I would give more attention to the gentle movement of my hips so that my heel would more effectively massage my perineum. This generated more energy up into my cock and my whole pelvic cavity so that even though I was exclusively touching only the area of my frenulum, my whole body was experiencing the pleasure. I would heighten the ecstasy by including my cockhead in the touch but only occasionally, sticking pretty much with fren-play. (Assiduously avoiding the shaft, as that would signal going to completion through ejaculation. I didn’t want to invite cumming; I only wanted to invite extended, sustained ecstasy.) This kind of sustained sexual arousal can get incredibly intense. I would stop on occasion and let things settle down before starting again, thereby creating a beautiful edging practice.
But I want to suggest that this can be more than just an Erotic Body practice! The use of the Tarot card to stimulate meditation is part of my ongoing project to connect spirituality with sex. The beautiful images in a Tarot deck can welcome that connection, but your own intention can be even more juicy! Perhaps your intention is, ‘I want to enjoy my body and see where the pleasure leads me’, or ‘I want to see what my body’s response will be to super-focusing on my frenulum (or my balls or my perineum or my asshole or my, etc.) or ‘I want to show gratitude for the way my body responds when I’m self-pleasuring’. All of these are worthy intentions, and you probably have some of your own! Go into your practice with intentionality. It makes all the difference.
This is a type of erotic practice that a man can enjoy with the intention of simply experiencing pleasure, the pleasure that only one’s body can offer. It doesn’t need another body to extend the pleasure (and there’s certainly nothing against other bodies being involved, of course! In fact, this can be a fantastic solo practice that can be done in a community of other like-minded men), there is no need for a ‘grand finale’, and no tools or toys (even a Tarot deck!) are necessary. All a man needs is his own body, a little spit, oil or lube and an open heart. Try it.