• Nic

The Divine Feminine and the Cock


Ideally, we are all a beautiful mix of the masculine and the feminine, the yin and the yang, in our bodies. Because of cultural norms and undue societal influence, we penis owners tend to emphasize only the masculine at the expense of our very necessary feminine qualities. Things like openness, vulnerability, the drive to nurture or comfort, or welcoming the penetrative energies of another in love. What brought all this to mind was my morning Tarot card pull; I pulled the Empress, card number III in the outer journey. The Empress is the mother, of course, surrounded by nature and symbols of fertility, all the things that Woman is, at least in our traditional experience of Her. Since I usually pair my card meditations with my mindful erotic practice, I started meditating on what part or parts of that practice signal my inner feminine. The answers surprised me.


Through most of my life I’ve expressed myself through gestures, habits and practices that signal the feminine. The result of that, especially during my school days, could often be criticism and bullying from both teachers and fellow students. Even, on occasion, parents. I loved playing imaginative games with girls, practicing the piano, drawing, listening to music, making up stories…all those things signaled the Feminine in me. (I even once desperately wanted a doll for Christmas. My dad nixed that quickly.) When I discovered my erection, masturbation, and ejaculation, I became phallocentric and focused on getting off, on achieving that goal of a wet orgasm. I was, admittedly, much more interested in the goal than the journey. That has shifted significantly in my maturity although I still take great joy in my sacred cock and its ability to give me pleasure.


But when I pulled the Empress this morning I started to wonder if, in the midst of my mindful masturbation practice, I could find anything in the experience that allowed me to involve the Feminine, to actively curate feminine pleasure in my practice. I discovered some things in my journey this morning that spoke to the feminine. The breath itself, for instance: Breath gives life, just as the mother gives life to the infant. That first breath of the infant is intimately connected to the mother’s breath. My intake of breath nurtures, opens, makes me more vulnerable…all signs of the Divine Feminine. So it may look, from the outside looking in, that I’m stroking my cock for pleasure. But that’s really just generating sexual energy. It’s the inner breath and the making of connections that makes it a deeply spiritual exercise. It’s the experience of breath penetrating my body that feels divinely feminine.


You might wonder if all this attention to the feminine in any way interrupted or ‘softened’ the sexual energy entering my body through my root and my cock. In fact, the opposite was true: it encouraged and spread the sexual energy and made it even more potent! My masculine and my feminine were in deep conversation with each other and sparked powerful waves of intentional pleasure. I keep referring in these blogs to making a connection between our genitals and our heart, that the ‘heart to cock’ conversation is incredibly powerful. When my heart is open, pulling in sexual energy from the lower chakras, it is the masculine and the feminine in me that are having that conversation! I see that so clearly and I feel its power. This is a deeply spiritual practice and the exercise of spirituality itself is a mark of the Divine Feminine. It requires openness, vulnerability, imagination, wisdom, a going within, quietude, all of them deeply feminine attributes. As men, we should celebrate what our intuitive feminine traits bring to our experience of sexuality. In my mind and body, I feel that it makes me a more ‘whole’ human being.