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  • Writer's pictureNic

Whole Body Self-Pleasure

In my experience counseling men about sex, when asked about their masturbation practice they usually respond by saying that they do it quickly, often with porn, and the only part of their body that they're concentrating on for pleasure is their cock. Let's play with that paradigm a bit, shall we?

Your whole body is an erogenous zone! Sure, there are places that give you more of an erotic tingle than others (and those places tend to change over our lifetimes). But there are probably places on your body that you haven't explored, when invited into your self-pleasure would heighten the erotic charge even more! In my practice this morning for example, I started in a seated position with my right heel planted against my perineum, my taint. I began my usual breathing practice, breathing up from my genitals into my heart, opening up the erotic conversation between those two areas of my body. But when I began to desire self-touch, I asked myself where did I desire that touch? Uniquely, my neck and the tender spot behind my ears asked for loving touch. So that's where I began my practice. I stroked the back of my ears and my neck very, very gently, with my fingertips at first, and going as slowly as possible. My hands then moved to my chest and nipples, stroking, pinching, flicking, massaging. During all of this I tried to continue my breathing, heart to cock. It was quite some time before I began to engage the erectile tissues around my genitals. And when I did, it was only to gently stroke my favorite spot, underneath the head of my penis on the frenulum.

The sheer pleasure and joy that my morning practice brought me was incredible. There was much laughter, many smiles, comforting movement throughout the body and exciting erotic pleasure as well. This wasn't about cumming or orgasming. It was just an exploration of pleasure, giving gratitude to my body for the sensations I was feeling. "I LOVE YOU, my body, for the pleasure you give me! Here...let me give you more pleasure!" That was the cycle of erotic energy I experienced and it was greatly enhanced by including other parts of my body than just my genitals.

If you're a man who has experienced sexual shame or who has had any degree of body shame, these self-pleasuring practices can be very healing. Release yourself from that fictional "rule book" that says that every erotic experience has to end in an explosion of semen from a hard cock or that there must be an orgasm every time you touch yourself. ENJOY THE JOURNEY! And taking your whole body along for the ride can enhance that journey immeasurably!

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